LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT:

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY – YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE AUSTRALIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET –

A JOB,
A DRIVER’S LICENCE,
A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
WELFARE,
FOOD STAMPS,
CREDIT CARDS,
SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN CANBERRA,  BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE, THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR OLD COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT – AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

Now, I don’t generally open emails with jokes or group messages for fear of downloading a virus or reading something annoying, or just plain silly. But this gem sent from an Aussie mate gave me a good laugh, in part because it is so true, so worrying and just so Australian in attitude.

From the cynical content, to portrayal of the collective chip on the shoulder and the national pastime of whinging, (that’s the US equivalent of whining or moaning), it has Aussie stamped all over it – and I say that as an ex-pat with some level of nostalgia and love for the country.

In light of some of the crazy stuff going on around the world at the moment – the ludicrous controversy surrounding health-care reform  in this country, for one; Google and then Internet domain registering company GoDaddy.com pulling out of China to avoid censorship demands; and a whole slew of other irritating news the past couple of weeks, all bearing the common thread of just how much say should any government should have in our lives, the above commentary offered some light relief, while also being a tad too close to the truth about my homeland.

For what it’s worth, I commend Obama for having the Presidential balls to make health-care reform happen, and I am yet to see why people are so irrationally against it, to the point of brick throwing, threats and name calling.  Brand me a socialist if you must, but public health care works just fine in Australia … more ranting on this to come, I swear.

I also commend search giant Google, and others to follow, for saying so long to the enormous Chinese market, rather than operate under the country’s Big Brother surveillance and censorship.

I’ll be ranting plenty more on both those issues once i clear my house of marauding six and seven year olds in need of pizza, cake and goody bags! Meantime, it’s nice to know that someone had the sense of humor to write and email the “joke” above.