Musings, Personal Tale

Fly, little one

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Alone in beautiful, tropical Queensland with only a book and a busy brain for company. Overthinking all the things, worrying and hurdling what ifs?

Is this what it will feel like if our daughter moves away to work and build her own identity and life?

Is this how my mother felt when I did the same a million lifetimes ago when I was bolder and braver and never stopped to think I couldn’t handle everything.

I’m so proud of our daughter for being brave and strong and taking risks but I’m sad that I’ll lose her company. I didn’t realise how much a part of my day-to-day our often tiny interactions mean.

They fill a space in my pretty solitary life in a way that other relationships don’t. Spouse is different, son different again and work, a whole other ball of wax.

A taste of my girl moving – growing her independence and hopefully happiness, is as much an adjustment for me. People keep asking how I’ll feel if she gets a job interstate, and I’ve acknowledged I’d miss her but am proud she’s making the most of opportunities.

Now, being alone on vacation while she interviews and attends events with the goal of impressing potential employers in the tourism industry, I realise how redundant I am.

I’ve done my part – with my husband, raising a beautiful, kind, smart, brave young woman and now she belongs to the world. It’s hers to make the life she wants.

This is what happy sadness feels like.

PostScript: We were home from vacation for two days before the phone call came. On Monday 28 October a job offer came through. It was the one she wanted, so she’s about to fly the coop!

Bracing myself …

November 19: She’s gone – for an initial six months of island life in Queensland. She is very happy – I’m adjusting.

Communications, Uncategorized

It’s the economy, stupid

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People vote with their hip pockets. As an Australian American living back in Australia these days, I watched the US election results unfold with disbelief but also with clarity on a few things. The economy trumps (sorry) everything.

If you don’t have a job and can’t buy groceries; if your cost of living is rising while your wage is stagnant; or if you think foreigners are succeeding while you’re struggling, apparently you vote for a trust fund billionaire with The Apprentice credits over a pro-choice woman of colour without an economic solution you can relate to.

The prospect of a better economic future than Americans feel they have now was enough to get people to the polls, and for them to overlook Trump’s dirty track record.

Remember, he’s the guy who incited insurrection at the US Capitol in 2021; lied; bullied; politicised the Justice Department and the FBI; abused the pardon power; obstructed investigations; fired whistleblowers and truth tellers; profited from his presidency by refusing to divest from his international business empire; cosied up to dictators; and has worn countless accusations of sexual impropriety, among other cons.

But here we are. It’s the economy. stupid, a phrase coined by Jim Carville, a strategist in Bill Clinton’s successful 1992 US presidential election.

With all the commentary on the latest election, it became apparent that no-one in Washington is fired for spending too much (moreso for spending too little) and no one votes for a Scrooge. Notably, the word ‘spending’ came up only three times in the Trump/Harris debate, and even then it was only associated with Ukraine.

It’s always easy to see things in retrospect: the economy was always going to hold the key.

Musings

Tropic of contemplation

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A week in the tropics. Alone with my thoughts and contemplation. A chance to navel gaze and wrangle with the ‘why’ and ‘what next’ of mid life.
It’s kismet that the opportunity for a week away  in balmy North Queensland coincides with navigating some life questions.
Let’s see if sunshine and snorkelling, reading and afternoon swims foster clarity.
We’re fresh off the plane but so far everything has gone right. This is a good sign.

Communications

Jack + Jill of all trades : a generation of generalists

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Public relations. Digital marketer. Social media. Graphic designer. SEO. Proofreader. Web developer. Content creator. Photographer. Videographer. Filmmaker. Hostess. Influencer. Digital editor. Copywriter. Speechwriter. Crisis communications. Sales. Business development. Strategist. Designer. Event planner. Sponsorship. Networker. Public speaker. Presenter. Media trainer. Front of House.

These are some of the many things I don’t claim to be an expert at. They are not my field of expertise. They are not my bread and butter, and have not been in my job descriptions over the years. I don’t have university credentials in them.

And yet I do them. Many, almost daily.

No doubt there are countless of us who started on a career path, twisting and turning along the path until we became specialists, honing our skills and concentrating on what we excelled at and loved. But over time and out of necessity, we rebounded and our jobs morphed into a bit of everything somehow related to that core expertise.

There would be plenty of ex-journos working in corporate communications or marketing or some mishmash of both also dabbling in that long list of career paths above. Stuff has to get done and all these things, and more, somehow land in the same deep kitchen sink.

It’s little wonder so many of us feel like imposters. Even after decades working, often excelling in areas you didn’t train for and don’t believe you’re ‘the expert’ at, you find yourself overreaching and doing anything tenuously connected to your actual job.

The same applies in other fields, I’m sure. Accounting these days is expected to stretch way beyond taxes and back-room number crunching to all-round business advisory. Technology services leaned from IT support to everything from running security cameras and hanging giant TVs from the ceiling to AI training and cybersecurity awareness. Dentists don’t just check your teeth these day, they have technologies to whiten them and can even administer Botox to treat dental issues.

These days when a service provider utters the words: ‘no worries’ or ‘too easy’. I shudder. It’s never ‘too easy’ and i inevitably worry.

I identify as a journalist who works in corporate communications, with an aptitude for PR and issue/crisis management. I dip into websites and socials, I can media train and proofread and take a usable photo. I can present and create a presentation, i can network and work across BD and partnerships if required. I’m an ad-hoc marketer.

But i identify as a journalist, working in corporate comms,

With all the time-saving, productivity enhancing AI tools at our fingertips (as we keep being told) you’d think I could ‘outsource’ the extraneous tasks. But no, it turns out I could use AI to do the things i actually love doing and am good at like writing for a myriad of audiences on all sorts of topics, or structuring communications strategies or plans.

I don’t want to drop the stuff i love so I can faff about in Canva trying to create social tiles, or in the backend of a website trying to load forms or upload images.

It feels like we’ re doing less of what we’re really good at and more of everything else. Is this the great dumbing down of expertise to create a generation of generalists?

Communications

Finding a tribe

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I’d forgotten how important it is to be around people who get what you do.

When you work as a journalist in a newsroom of other journalists, there’s a collective understanding and respect for the craft. You are united in a healthy mistrust of other professions, particularly the sales team and anything beyond your editorial fiefdom.

That unity flies out the window when you cross to the dark side of communications in any business that focuses on something other than what you do, be it superannuation, transportation, or accounting. When you’re outnumbered and everyone has their lane, people don’t necessarily understand (or care) what you bring to the table.

So, spending time recently refreshing issue management skills in a crisis communications course was a tonic.

Hosted online, with participants spread across Australia, it was hardly a social gathering, and that was fine. As Comms and PR professionals we deal with similar issues and business structures. We speak a shared language. We know what it’s like to be ‘the comms team’ in a bigger business where few get what you do beyond ‘write stuff’ and make others and the business look good.

Bravo to the newly formed Communication and Public Relations Australia (CPRA) for adding Communication professionals to its remit. The transition to CPRA from the Public Relations Institute of Australia opens a new door for comms pros looking for a tribe.

Those of us who’ve crossed from journo to other finally have a place.   

Musings

What does success look like to you?

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What does success look like to you? Professional success. Not good health and a beautiful family, a roof over your head and food in the fridge, and not money in the bank.

The career success that makes work exciting and challenging and keeps you coming back for more.

After a recent deadline heavy week, delivering with a small team on a year-long project with a go-live date set in stone, I headed for home and the weekend ahead wondering what the heck.

There was no collective sigh of relief, or group congrats. No high fives, backslapping or heading to the nearest pub for a debrief. No one expects fireworks or popping champagne corks but the anticlimax, the fizzle of adrenalin, and the emptiness of the non-occasion was real.

I had to ask myself, what does success look like to me now?

In the old days of a big, bold career success was cheers with the team, wrap parties, or bump out drinks. When success was really meaningful, it was a juicy bonus and a promotion.

Those days are behind me. Now, success is measured in meeting business objectives; the satisfaction of creating something of value; learning new skills and conquering fears (both hugely invigorating for me); and being proud of the outcome, even if no one else seems to notice.

Oh, and not killing someone in the process. That’s always a win.

What does success look like to you?

Personal Tale

Vale

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Michael, Mo + Zane Sydney 2017

I want to acknowledge a good journo and a good guy, a gentleman, who recently passed, suddenly and much too soon. Michael Yiannakis was a fellow in journalism and then corporate comms, He had a great career spanning prestigious mastheads and vibrant cities. He’s also the husband of my dear friend, another great journalist, Andreea Papuc, who now edits Bloomberg Opinion pieces from Sydney.

When bad things happen to good people, people you have grown up with, literally and professionally, it’s a wake-up call.

I was so busy building my career interstate and then oversees to get home for significant events like friends’ weddings and new babies. Now, I’m tuning in online to funerals.

The only upside of terrible, life-changing events is that it brings us together to reminisce and realise that strong bonds won’t be broken by time. I’m vowing to do better for my friends before it’s too late.

Vale Michael.

Personal Tale

Time nipping at our heels

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Do you ever feel like the protagonist in your favourite books?

Interestingly, I’m drawn to delusional, psychotic or narcissistic males in many cases: American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman is a wealthy, narcissistic, vain Manhattan investment banker who moonlights as a serial killer.

Liar’s Poker is semi-autobiographical account of author Michael Lewis’s time as a bond salesman on Wall Street in the 80s when ‘greed was good’.

And then there’s Death of a Salesman, a play by Arthur Miller fearing Willy Loman. The name befits the character – a 63-year-old travelling salesman from Brooklyn who has lost the youthful verve and camaraderie of his past. His business acumen is still at its peak, but he can no longer leverage his personality to get by.

Time has caught up with him.

I’ve been pondering Willy as I edge towards 60. Still some years away but in the professional world 50, 60 – it doesn’t really matter.

Time is nipping at our heels.

I hear the platitudes – age is just a number, there’s plenty more to achieve, you’re never too old, it’s about your mindset. Blah, blah blah.

Sure, they’re all valid comments, but it also becomes very clear that you don’t have (or perhaps don’t want to commit) 10 years or 15 years or even 12 months to reaching some milestone. Make it snappy. Time is short, we need to get a move on.

Gen Xers like me have been there, done that. We’ve been through social, economic and plenty of tech changes and challenges that have influenced our view of the world.

Unlike the tradition valuing Baby Boomers and the socially progressive Millenials, Gen Xers are pragmatic, self- reliant and skeptical.

Poor Willy Loman pre-dated Gen X and Baby Boomers. He worked at the same company for more than three decades, withstanding a pay cut and then being fired by the son of the guy who had hired him decades prior.

Willy created a fantasy world to cope with his lot, and he tried several times to end his life.

Author Arthur Miller was quoted saying Willys’ story was about hopelessness and mortality: “Willy was trying to write his name on cake made of ice on a hot summer day.”

No one wants to be Willy. To be fair, no one is probably keen on being any of my fictitious favourites.

There’s probably another discussion in why I’m drawn to dodgy New York male characters (husband excluded) but meantime I’ll seek out some sunny, female protagonist-led literature.

I’d love to hear which characters you are drawn to, and why?

Personal Tale

Three Years

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Three years. It’s everything and nothing.

You can get a university degree in three years, plan and have a wedding, birth a couple of children, change the direction of your life completely by moving abroad, changing jobs or Marie Kondo- ing your life.

But three years is no time when you are grieving. It’s as fresh as if it were yesterday. Three years, 36 months, 1095 days . It’s a whisper of time that hasn’t passed at all.

Three years is supposed to mark a period of transition. It’s when you begin rebuilding, and while the sadness of losing a loved one lingers, it’s not as prevalent, according to psychological studies on grief. It’s no longer socially palatable to talk about your loss, according to another piece I read  One needs to move on. Easier said than done .

Here’s to my beautiful father who passed three years ago today. He is well remembered daily by those closest to him and especially missed this week. 

I hope he knows how much he is loved.

Rants

Ghost(ing) Story

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In business, many of us spend hours networking. We seek out opportunities to connect with other people to expand our existing networks, or to meet people whose skills or custom we might be able to use down the track.

Interacting with others is a basic human need, and a skill we try to hone for business success. But imagine if you walked up to someone at an event and they turned their back, or walked away.

You wouldn’t physically ghost someone, would you?

And yet, increasingly I hear of, or see people reaching out to business connections via email or providing a proposal or a piece of value-add work and  … crickets. No ‘thank you.’ No ‘I’m flat out at the moment but I really will come back to you.’ No, nothing.

It’s the corporate version of ghosting. It’s rife, it’s accepted, and it goes mostly unchallenged.

Ghosting, as the name suggests, is when someone suddenly stops communicating with another person without any explanation. It’s a term that gained traction in popular lingo in the dating world.

Poof! They’re gone

You connect with someone online and then, poof, they’re gone. Their profile vanishes, and it’s as if they never existed.

It’s increasingly evident in the recruitment sector too. Post Covid, I’ve heard countless cases of people going for a job interview and waiting for the follow-up call from the recruiter.

They’re still waiting. Apparently, it’s not the norm these days to advise unsuccessful applicants that they can move on. They are left hanging, wondering if the position was filled or if they’re still in with a shot, or where they went wrong? It’s a guessing game.

Likewise, job candidates don’t show for interviews. Successful candidates don’t turn up for the first day. They vanish without a word.

The Harvard Business Review quoted a 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: 25% of participants reported having been ghosted by a partner. When it comes to job seeking, 93% of respondents in a 2020 LinkedIn poll said they had been ghosted during an active hiring process.

It’s a problem and it’s only getting worse.

At its core, ghosting is a sign of disrespect for the time and effort others invest in reaching out to us.

Just say No!

So why do people ghost?

In the era of everyone wins a prize, there are no losers, could it be that people have forgotten how to say no? Is there a phobia around rejecting an approach from someone or turning down a proposal. Are people scared to have a difficult conversation? Do they think that ignoring the elephant in the room will make it go away?

Of course, it will go away (eventually) and with it goes your reputation (eventually). When a business turns cold and fails to acknowledge your proposal or your email or a piece of work you’ve done for them, their brand is devalued by the people they ignore. Word travels fast and no one wants to be known as unresponsive, or rude.

So, short of sending a copy of Debrett’s etiquette guide, what do you do if professionally ghosted? Walk away and chalk it up to bad manners, or call it out and keep prodding for a response?