Category Archives: Musings

Musings, Personal Tale

Fly, little one

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Alone in beautiful, tropical Queensland with only a book and a busy brain for company. Overthinking all the things, worrying and hurdling what ifs?

Is this what it will feel like if our daughter moves away to work and build her own identity and life?

Is this how my mother felt when I did the same a million lifetimes ago when I was bolder and braver and never stopped to think I couldn’t handle everything.

I’m so proud of our daughter for being brave and strong and taking risks but I’m sad that I’ll lose her company. I didn’t realise how much a part of my day-to-day our often tiny interactions mean.

They fill a space in my pretty solitary life in a way that other relationships don’t. Spouse is different, son different again and work, a whole other ball of wax.

A taste of my girl moving – growing her independence and hopefully happiness, is as much an adjustment for me. People keep asking how I’ll feel if she gets a job interstate, and I’ve acknowledged I’d miss her but am proud she’s making the most of opportunities.

Now, being alone on vacation while she interviews and attends events with the goal of impressing potential employers in the tourism industry, I realise how redundant I am.

I’ve done my part – with my husband, raising a beautiful, kind, smart, brave young woman and now she belongs to the world. It’s hers to make the life she wants.

This is what happy sadness feels like.

PostScript: We were home from vacation for two days before the phone call came. On Monday 28 October a job offer came through. It was the one she wanted, so she’s about to fly the coop!

Bracing myself …

November 19: She’s gone – for an initial six months of island life in Queensland. She is very happy – I’m adjusting.

Musings

Tropic of contemplation

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A week in the tropics. Alone with my thoughts and contemplation. A chance to navel gaze and wrangle with the ‘why’ and ‘what next’ of mid life.
It’s kismet that the opportunity for a week away  in balmy North Queensland coincides with navigating some life questions.
Let’s see if sunshine and snorkelling, reading and afternoon swims foster clarity.
We’re fresh off the plane but so far everything has gone right. This is a good sign.

Musings

What does success look like to you?

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What does success look like to you? Professional success. Not good health and a beautiful family, a roof over your head and food in the fridge, and not money in the bank.

The career success that makes work exciting and challenging and keeps you coming back for more.

After a recent deadline heavy week, delivering with a small team on a year-long project with a go-live date set in stone, I headed for home and the weekend ahead wondering what the heck.

There was no collective sigh of relief, or group congrats. No high fives, backslapping or heading to the nearest pub for a debrief. No one expects fireworks or popping champagne corks but the anticlimax, the fizzle of adrenalin, and the emptiness of the non-occasion was real.

I had to ask myself, what does success look like to me now?

In the old days of a big, bold career success was cheers with the team, wrap parties, or bump out drinks. When success was really meaningful, it was a juicy bonus and a promotion.

Those days are behind me. Now, success is measured in meeting business objectives; the satisfaction of creating something of value; learning new skills and conquering fears (both hugely invigorating for me); and being proud of the outcome, even if no one else seems to notice.

Oh, and not killing someone in the process. That’s always a win.

What does success look like to you?